I haven't been able to get online in a while. My computer had some serious security problems. I finally think I've taken care of them, but couldn't risk doing much on there before now. Thank you to the people who have sent me comments and I will respond to you and appreciate your kindness and help.

I just got home from yet another appointment with my attorney. There is good news and bad news. The good news is, if we were to file a counter complaint for custody at this point, it is likely I would get sole custody of both daughters with supervised visitation with dad. That is a tricky situation though at the moment. With the oldest daughter being so angry, hateful and determined, my attorney and her psychologist feel that she would be totally unmanageable and, in the long run, I could lose both of them because of the things she can and will do to be with her dad's enjoying total freedom and expensive gifts. We are going to hold off on the counter complaint for now. As therapy continues, if she lets her guard down and things begin to improve or if the therapist finds that she has PAS, we will file later. The really difficult part to accept is that, for now, all I can do is work in therapy with the oldest, but my main focus has to be on the youngest. It is so sad how she has been affected by all of this. She is so angry with her father and his wife for talking about me and the fact that, even though she has asked them to stop, they will not. She is very hurt that they don't care about her feelings. Also, since her sister moved in over there, she no longer has a bedroom. The bedroom has become her sister's and she is allowed to sleep in there, but is unable to at times because her sister uses her bed as a hamper. She has come to believe that she is unloved by her father. I try to reassure her, but she feels he has no interest in her at all. Now, she has become so attached to me that I have to set her up for play dates or other fun activities when I have to leave the house without her for an appointment. I currently work for my brother in law at my sister's house helping with stuff that needs to be done so the billing isn't interrupted. He has asked me to come into the office to work as a medical assistant on a back up basis for the current medical assistant. When the little one found out, she totally freaked. She can't stand to be away from me for long. In one way that is a good thing as far as the strength of our relationship and her wanting to be around me. It shows her dad and his wife haven't been able to get to her as far as I am concerned. I do have concerns for her because she is normally very independent. I have some comfort with the knowledge that, in time, I will be able to keep the kids away from his influence. We are, at this time, trying to minimize visitation between her and her father. I think it will benefit her greatly since she is becoming so upset when she has to go over there. It breaks my heart to enforce the visitation because she is so sad, but I won't resort to doing any of the things that her dad and his wife do in effort to influence the girls' in any negative way.

Gotta run. Little one is hungry and wants me.